Sex - Round 1

I realised after the last few comments that the last poem I had on here was about rape. Not a very nice topic. So to switch it up I've written another one about the joys of sex :-D

I'm a little embarrassed and cringing putting this up. But what the hell. It's a little cheesy (ok a lot) so please dont crucify me if you read this. It's the first happy-ish/upbeat poem (if you can call it that - it's more like a gushy email I would write to my girlfriends) i've written in a while. I'm kinda tired of all the morose depressing ones. Sooo ... yeah.

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Sex – Round 1

I just had sex
And oh it was glorious!
I’d forgotten how much fun it can be
The feel of a man’s weight on top of you
The intensity of him
Thrusting away inside you
Ahhh the trembling of your thighs …

We did every position you can think of
He was soo masterful and determined
And so strong!
He flipped me this way and that.
Carried me and flung me all over the bed
On the floor,
Standing
Leaning against the wardrobe
On all fours, kneeling and pulling my hair …

He was way too big but I didn’t care
It had been too long a while
And I was insatiable
I knew that it was going to hurt in the morning
But when you haven’t had something this good in a long time,
It makes you greedy for more.
My mind was saying yes
Even as my body was breaking down on me

I am still luxuriating in the after glow
I love stretching
And feeling those unused muscles aching ever so slightly
I’m already thinking of Round 2
And I can’t wait!

The Invasion

Apologies … my mind went somewhere dark tonight. First time I post something in over a year and it's not pretty.

This is dedicated to all the women who have felt the ignominy of invasion – be it of mind, body or esteem. Our soul is ours, they can't touch that.

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The Invasion

I am screaming NO and struggling with all my breath

A pillow is shoved over my head so my cries are muffled.

There is no one to hear them anyway

He is soo big and strong

He pins my arms so easily with one hand

The other spreads my legs even as

I twist and kick with all my strength.

My entire being cries with shock,

As he shoves himself into me

The fight immediately dies in me.

All I can do is cry as he grunts and pants on top of me

I trusted him

I had been soo excited to spend time

Reconnecting with him

We had planned soo much for this trip

I hadn’t thought twice about staying over at his

Or having to sleep in the same bed as him

My torn pyjamas are testament to my naivety

With a loud moan he collapses on top of me

His weight crushes me and I can barely breathe

I am too broken to move or say anything

I have just been raped.

The shock of penetration jars me awake

I open my eyes to see him thrusting into me

I am too shocked to comprehend what is happening

My body shuts down and squeezes him out

He tries to push into me a couple more times

But eventually gives up and turns over.

I lie there and suddenly realise I am shaking

I can’t seem to stop it.

My body is reacting to what has just happened

Even though I can’t wrap my head around it.

I had gone to stay over at his from my night out

We had been seeing each other for a while

But I wasn’t ready to take the next step

We had made out earlier that night

But called it quits before it got too far

I thought it was really sweet how

He hadn’t pushed to go all the way

I fell asleep curling up next to him

Feeling secure that our relationship was progressing.

An hour later and I am still shaking

My eyes are streaming and bloodshot

I am too scared to close them.

Have I just been raped?

As soon as the door closes behind us

He is literally attacking my lips

His arms are crawling everywhere

In no time, my top is off and my trousers are undone

“Whoa! Slow down! What is the rush?

Unheeded, he continues to paw at me

With the sound of ripping fabric,

Alarm bells start to ring in my head

“Take it easy! No need to be soo rough!”

Next thing I know,

He throws me onto the bed.

Now wait just a minute …

I hadn’t signed up for this.

He is not listening to me whatsoever

So I now start struggling in earnest.

It only seems to excite him more

I cannot believe the speed and strength of him.

“Please just STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP THIS!”

Even as I buckle with all my might

He pins my arms and wrenches my legs apart

He is lying between my legs and trying to free himself

He is too excited to take his pants off

Something clicks that he is actually going to do this

I start to pray out loud -

“PLEASE LORD … DON’T LET THIS MAN DO THIS TO ME!”

It must somehow get to him because

All of a sudden he stops.

He lies still for what seems like an interminable moment

With a deep breath, he sighs and rolls over next to me.

I immediately jump up and grab my strewn clothes.

Running into the bathroom,

I lock the door and try to compose myself.

I am a total wreck but I refuse to let him see

How much he has affected me.

When I eventually come out,

I pick up the rest of my things and leave without a word.

It’s only when I’m safely outside

I feel myself breakdown completely

I almost got raped.

I am curled up in a corner of the room

Counting the minutes till day break

I cannot wait till I can finally leave

And be back in the safety of my home.

This is actually all my fault.

I should have known better.

I knew he had a thing for me

Staying over would have been leading him on.

I felt bad that he had cancelled his plans with the boys

It was his birthday and I had promised to hang out.

I figured we’d have a few drinks,

Watch a movie, hang out and talk

Like usual.

I thought he was joking at first

When he said - “Take off your jeans”

Dumbfounded, I had to ask

“What do you mean take off my jeans?”

“I want to see your legs” he responded,

Very calmly and very matter of fact like.

I laughed him off thinking the alcohol was talking

I stopped laughing

When I found myself grappling with him

As he forcibly started pulling down my jeans.

Something told me struggling would spur him on

Anatgonize him into actual violence

As calmly I could muster I spoke up,

“What are you doing?

Whatever you’re thinking stop.

I am clearly saying no. NO!

I do NOT want you to take off my jeans.

I do NOT want to do this.

I am saying NO.

Think about what you’re doing.

I am very clearly saying No.

You cannot turn round later and say you didn’t know. “

With a sneer, he called me a spoilsport and left me alone.

I am rocking and hugging my knees for comfort.

Could I have been raped?