I play Solitaire because it whiles away the time
It keeps the loneliness at bay
It stops me from over-thinking
Prevents me from accepting you were right
I loved the idea of you
As clichéd as it sounds
I held on because it was such a great idea
Despite everything, I still want it.
I realise I burnt my bridges a long time ago
And truly I have no regrets
I just miss having someone to talk to
Someone who causes some kind of emotion to well within me
On whose life I make some sort of impact.
As much as I hate to admit it,
I want a partner
I want an equal
I want someone that completes me.
I am tired of soldering through life on my own
I am tired of living vicariously through my friends
I am tired of constantly reliving my memories
Searching for proof I was once capable of emotional depth.
I am tired of feeling like an immortal
Gliding through life, skimming the experiences of others
Yet unable to be an actual participant in any meaningful way
I am tired of this lonesome journey I find myself on.
I play Solitaire because I am able to compete without penalties
I can carry on playing until I win
I play because I must win at all odds
I play because it closes everything else off
I play until I am spent.
